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How To Survive a Killer Clown Attack. Alamo Drafthouse locations across the country are hosting all- clown screenings of It this weekend in an ill- advised attempt to turn the public’s innate and rational fear of clowns into some sort of “fun” marketing stunt. To reiterate: there’s a solid chance you’re going to see gangs of clowns roaming the streets. Watch Clowntown Online Clowntown Full Movie Online. To be fair, the vast majority of the clowns you might bump into this weekend are merely going to be overenthusiastic Stephen King fans who gleefully responded to the Alamo Drafthouse’s sick call to arms. But, as is always the case when there are more clowns wandering the streets than normal, it is important to remember that some clowns aren’t just people in awful Party City makeup.

Some clowns aren’t people at all—they’re murderous, bloodthirsty monsters who’d like nothing more than sink their filthy teeth into your unsuspecting flesh. We here at io. 9 take clown safety very seriously, so we wanted to familiarize everyone with a) how to differentiate between harmless human clowns and their (much more) murderous cousins; and b) how to confront a clown should the situation call for it. Remember, people, clowns are muchless afraid of you than you are of them, so it’d behoove you to have a game plan at the ready unless you’re trying to get got. Step 1: Figure Out What Kind of Clown It Is. The most unsettling, dangerous thing about clowns is that it can at times be difficult to identify what type of harlequin you’re dealing with.

There are regular clowns, gangster crime lord clowns, deranged serial killer clowns, and then all manners of primordial, supernatural evil simply masquerading as clowns. You should always try to determine whether the clown in question is, in fact, a regular human, given that they’re the least likely to actually try and kill you.

Thankfully, these clowns are often the easiest to pick out in a crowd because of the noticeably “normal” things they tend to do. Is the clown using a cellphone?

Does the clown’s costume and makeup look rather shoddily put together? Is the clown interacting (amicably) with a visibly human person? If the answer to any of these questions is “yes,” then you’re probably in luck. This clown’s just trying to mind its own business unless it’s a gangster clown or a serial killer clown.

Feminist analysis. Jezebel determined that Belle "is often held up as the standard of the 'feminist' Disney princess." According to Tales, Then and Now: More. Alamo Drafthouse locations across the country are hosting all-clown screenings of It this weekend in an ill-advised attempt to turn the public’s innate and rational. Shop for mattel disney princess castle you will love online at Target. Free shipping and save 5% every day with your Target REDcard. Shop for disney princess castle toy you will love online at Target. Free shipping and save 5% every day with your Target REDcard. 6. (TIE) Inigo Montoya and Fezzik, The Princess Bride. I thought long and hard about which of Wesley’s sidekicks to include on this list, but in the end, I couldn. · World of Color is a nighttime show at Disney California Adventure, part of the Disneyland Resort. Watch Full movie: Disney Princess Enchanted Tales: Follow Your Dreams (2007), Online Free. Princess Aurora and Princess Jasmine learn valuable life lessons in.

These clowns, despite technically being human, are known for their violent tendencies and should not be approached under any circumstances. In either case if you feel threatened, run, call the police and/or a local animal- themed vigilante, and you should be fine. Step 1. 5: Understand That Supernatural Clowns Are Dangerous. If you’re the only person that can see the clown, things are a wee bit more complicated because it means that the being you’re dealing with is supernatural. The great thing about human clowns (killer or not) is that with enough willpower and adrenaline, you can put some distance between yourself and them. Supernatural clowns are a little bit trickier because no matter how far you run from them, chances are that they’ll catch up using one of their inexplicable abilities.(Note: in some instances, regular human clowns sometime become supernatural clowns, especially after mysterious resurrections. If you see a normal clown die and then get back up, assume that you’re facing with a different breed of trouble.)By the time you see a supernatural clown, you’ve got to assume that it’s already seen you more than once and is only choosing to make itself visible to you now because it’s planning your imminent death.

This might at first sound terrifying, but the most important thing to bear in mind about is that fear is the clown’s greatest weapon. The more level headed you are in dealing with these things, the better chance you’ve got at properly fending it off. Step 2: Gather Your Wits. If you believe you’ve witnessed a supernatural clown, the first thing you need to do is think to yourself: “have I seen and/or heard anything about this clown lately?” This could include local urban myths about clowns, news reports about mysterious clown sightings, or even something as innocuous as a random passage in a book about clowns. As scary as supernatural clowns are, they almost always have a weakness that you can exploit with a little know- how.

The key is figuring it out quickly enough to save your life. While you should have already called the local authorities to inform them of the clown menace prowling their streets, supernatural clowns are notorious for their ability to confound and evade people they aren’t immediately targeting. What’s more, there’s no guarantee that the police will believe you if you try to explain that an undead/demonic/otherwise- magical clown is trying to kill you. You’re more or less on your own here. Still, though, don’t panic.

Resist the urge to flee to your home. The clown will find and kill you there. Instead, you need to be clever. Your best bet it to flee to the nearest botanica.

If you don’t know what a botanica is, Google it, get directions and head there. If it has a phone number, call and try to speak with the shop owner. The owner of a botanica is exponentially better equipped to assist you with a supernatural clown than the police. If you can make it to the botanica, that’s excellent. There will be a variety of goods and products there designed to ward off different kinds of malevolent beings. Again, speak with the proprietors about your clown problem (they’ll understand) and take whatever advice they can give you.

Visiting the botanica isn’t a guarantee that you’ll have what you need to dispatch your murder clown, but it should get you in the proper creative headspace. Whether it’s burning it with Florida water molotov cocktails or saying the clown’s true name backwards, whatever method you ultimately use to kill a clown that’s trying to kill you is going to take a bit of improvisation. The more ideas you can come up with on the fly to throw at the thing, the more likely you are to walk away unscathed. If you take one piece of information away from this post, let it be this: regardless of what sort of clown situation you find yourself in, you’re almost always going to be winging it.

If everyone knew what to do when a horrifying vision of carnivals past showed up, we wouldn’t all be scared shitless of them. But again, that’s ok. All you need to do is keep calm, run, and think before you scream.

Science Fiction and Fantasy Literature's Top 1. Sidekicks. Sidekicks. Always there to lend a helping hand, or sword, or wand, as the case may be. A hero is nothing without his or her sidekick, but these companions rarely get the recognition they deserve. A few second bananas may get the spotlight on occasion—your Robins, your Chewbaccas, your Igors—but they all originated in comics, films, or on TV.

This list is for the truly forgotten, the most overlooked of the overlooked. Here is a ranking of the top 1. NOTE: Hermione Granger is not on this list because she is not a sidekick, in the same way that Princess Leia is not a sidekick. She is not merely there in support of the hero or as a foil; she has her own arc, goals, and priorities.

Weena, The Time Traveller. Some sidekicks do more in death than they ever could in life. In H. G. Wells’ classic novel, Weena is an Eloi, a member of a seemingly defenseless race that humans have evolved into by the year 8. Weena’s relationship to Wells’ Traveller on the surface seems to be merely as a damsel in distress—the Traveller successfully saves her from drowning in a pool, and then fails to rescue her when the Morlocks (the other, much nastier race humans evolved into) take her for food. While she might seem useless, she does slip two flowers into the Traveller’s pocket, which serve as the only proof of the Traveller’s adventures when he returns to a Victorian era skeptical of his exploits. The Luggage, Discworld Series. Who says a sidekick has to be a person to be effective?

The Luggage is a trunk made from sapient pearwood and bound to protect its owner. It was originally the property of Twoflower, an ignorant tourist to the magical land of Discworld, but ownership soon transferred to unlikely hero and lazy wizard Rincewind. The Luggage is impervious to magic, can follow its owner anywhere (including other dimensions), and shuffles around on hundreds of adorable little legs. But the Luggage’s true power is its mouth. The trunk has a habit of eating people, literally hundreds throughout the Discworld series, without ever once filling up. Indestructible, over- protective, and always hungry, the Luggage may be the toughest piece of furniture in the history of literature. Sir Kay, Arthurian legend.

Sometimes the best of friends were once the worst of enemies. This sidekick began his career as King Arthur’s older foster brother.

While accounts of Arthurian legend differ, all agree Sir Kay would have been a rough guy to grow up with. He’s loud, rude, and quick to fight, and in some versions of the story, bullies his brother, but after Arthur draws the sword from the stone, Kay pledges loyalty to his king and becomes one of the first knights of the round table. In some legends, Kay can change size at will, shoot fire from his hands, deal an incurable wound, and go nine days without sleeping or BREATHING. He’s not easy to deal with, and on occasion abandons Camelot, but when something goes down, he’s the first guy you want on your side. Gillian Boardman, Stranger in a Strange Land. Heinlein’s novel centers around a man from Mars making his way through our strange Earth customs, and the first thing he needs is someone to show him around.

Luckily for Mike the Martian, Gillian is that someone. Gillian becomes the first woman Mike ever sees, and after sharing a glass of water (trust me, it’s a big deal on Mars), she helps him escape a fate as a government science project. Later, when Mike becomes Earth’s biggest celebrity and starts the wildly popular Church of All Worlds, Gillian becomes a key figure in the religion.

Not every sidekick needs to fight. Sometimes, they just need to be there for a hero when no one else will. TIE) Inigo Montoya and Fezzik, The Princess Bride. I thought long and hard about which of Wesley’s sidekicks to include on this list, but in the end, I couldn’t decide. Whether you prefer the gentle giant Fezzik or master swordsman Inigo Montoya, both were key in Wesley’s mostly- revival and eventual rescue of Princess Buttercup. After falling in with the villain Vizzini, Wesley recruits the duo after defeating them, and their boss, in contests of their greatest skills.

Though both were exposed to violence at an early age (in Inigo’s case, watching his father’s murder; in Fezzik’s case, a childhood of being forced to fight) they never let the harshness of the world taint their honor, and proved themselves true heroes by their defeat of Prince Humperdink and the six- fingered Count Rugen. Ford Prefect, The Hitchiker’s Guide to the Galaxy series. Possibly the best thing sidekicks can do is save their hero’s life, so when Ford Prefect saved Arthur Dent from an Earth scheduled for demolition, he cemented himself as a companion for the ages.

Ford is a absurdist, 2. Earth’s dominant species. This makes him a perfect balance for Arthur’s cautious, high- strung demeanor.

He introduces Arthur to the crew of the Heart of Gold, and starts him on his adventures. Though Arthur may not always be on board with everything that Ford gets him into, another one of a sidekick’s many duties is to continue the mission, even when the hero doesn’t want to. Molly Millions, Sprawl trilogy. I’m gonna say it, Molly Millions shouldn’t be a sidekick.

She’s far more capable than any of the so- called heroes she finds herself partnered with in William Gibson’s Sprawl series (Johnny Mnemonic in the eponymous short story and Henry Case in Neuromancer). As a badass, super- strong cyborg with knives hidden under her fingernails, she should have better things to do than babysit a living hard drive and a drug- addicted computer hacker, but the only thing tougher than Molly’s cybernetic implants is her code of honor.

Though she may be a mercenary, whenever she takes a job, she doesn’t stop until it’s finished, and more often than not, gets attached—in one way or another—to whoever she’s sworn to protect. Ser Bronn of the Blackwater, A Song of Ice and Fire series. Bronn usually seconds the wily Tyrion Lannister, though as of late, he’s on loan to his brother Jaime.

While Bronn began as a sellsword of little renown, he at one time served as the Commander of the City Watch at King’s Landing, and was eventually knighted for his bravery at the battle of Blackwater. How could Tyrion refuse to promote him, though, when Bronn has saved his life on many occasions—including acting as his champion soon after meeting him, in that trial by combat in the Eyrie?

Bronn is the kind of sidekick who rarely shows affection for his primary, but by season three of Game of Thrones, even he had to admit that he considered Tyrion a friend. Ron Weasley, Harry Potter series. Ron Weasley is an amazing sidekick. The sidekick to end all sidekicks. A sidekick’s sidekick. He’s goofy, fiercely loyal, and offers Harry—a hero with everything—the one thing he doesn’t have: a family. Aside from facilitating Harry meeting his future wife (Ron’s sister Ginny), the Weasleys become the surrogate family Harry never had in his own Muggle relatives, the Dursleys.

Harry’s longtime classmate offers more than emotional support, however; he saves Harry’s life on numerous occasions and even destroyed one of Voldemort’s horcruxes. It’s a hard life to live in the shadow of the Boy Who Lived, but Ron Weasley does it, if not with dignity, then with a reluctant maturity that makes him one of the most relatable characters in the whole wizarding world. Samwise Gamgee, Lord of the Rings series.

It is a rare thing indeed when a sidekick is a better man than even the hero. I’m not merely talking about being physically stronger, because the strength of a Hobbit is negligible at best. I mean strength of character. Sam is the only person who willingly gives up the ring on the Fellowship’s quest to Mordor. Sam risks his life to save Frodo numerous times, and he wasn’t even an original member of the Fellowship. He carries his friend up Mount Doom, on his back, to make sure the ring is thrown into the lava.

Samwise Gamgee is more than a sidekick.